Monday, October 10, 2005

THE LAST WEEKEND OF THE SUMMER IN TORQUAY
This is the story of our last weekend in Torquay. A story involving Allan (logically), Becky, Philip, Ed and my good self!

(NB: This story is rather outdated due to the fact my computer broke!! Also, some of the info is second hand, so apologies if anything’s wrong!!)

We stayed in the hotel bar on the Saturday night, playing a few board games- nothing majorly exciting.

Sunday however, was rather different…

Sunday morning kicked off with Philip locking himself out of his hotel room(!). Which was somehow the first time anyone had done that all summer (mainly cos I’m usually in charge of the key!).

Later on, while we were sat watching the telly in Allan’s living room, Philip got ridiculously over excited during the Liverpool-Man U game and caused Sky(!) to knock a glass of coke all over the new carpet!! (He also suggested that socks would make a good jumper that afternoon aswell!! Lol!)
Then in the evening we went down into Torquay to Route 66, where double vodka cokes are £1.66!!!!! You also get the rather attractive barmaids dancing on the bar to certain songs! And if that wasn’t enough, when Tequila by Terrorvision was played- the barmen got up on the bar and poured tequila down onto everyone!! Its all good!

That closes at 10.30 on a Sunday though, so we went off to a club. Well- that was the idea anyway…

Philip and Becky got in ok, then Allan was told to come back in half an hour to sober up, so I stayed outside with him (although he really wasn’t that pissed at all). So we stood outside, I was chatting to the bouncer, trying to get us in, when he started getting really childish and refused to speak to me when I tried to ask where the nearest toilets were! After all that, we were then told that we weren’t going to be allowed in at any stage that night- which seemed to be only cos Id been talking to them!!! Dickheads!
So by about midnight me and Allan had been stood getting cold for an hour, and Becky and Philip hadn’t seem to have noticed we weren’t there, and both had left their phones at the hotel(!), so me and Allan went back to the hotel, had a few quiet drinks, watched part of a random documentary about Catherine Zeta-Jones (don’t ask!!) and went to bed. Now this is where it starts getting completely farcical…

Ed had gone back home on Sunday morning, so Philip was due to be staying in my room. However, Allan ended up staying in my hotel room rather than his bedroom, and made the other two sleep alone. Now, because I was the only person with a key to the hotel, when Phil and Becky eventually got back to the hotel at 2.00, they had to wake up Allan’s mum to get her to let them in. However, she then inadvertently managed to lock herself, and the other two, out of the hotel, by not putting the inner porch door on the latch!! So they had to throw stones at Allan’s brother’s window, to get him to come downstairs and let them in!!
He then found Philip wandering around the bar looking for Allan and me, before being told to go to bed.

The next morning (Monday), Philip knocked on our door, looking rather confused as to why he had woken up in the room he’d stayed in the night before, with no recollection of the club, or getting back to the hotel. We later managed to find out what went on in the club…
Becky managed to floor a table of drinks, Philip got chatted up by a gay bloke, and then later, was unable to pay for his drink, and ended up being escorted off the premises!

Later on Monday morning then, just before me and Philip were leaving the hotel, we managed to smash a glass on the floor (fortunately a lino floor!). Then we said our goodbyes and made our way home…
About half an hour into the journey, I suddenly found something in my pocket…
the hotel room key!!!!!
Philip had to get back to go to work, so we couldn’t turn back, so when we got home I had to phone Allan to let him know, then he informed me that due to a coach party being booked into the hotel that day, they needed that key back by 4.00!!!!!

That gave me 4 hours to get it to them, which left me with one option- get on a train! So I went straight to the station and hopped on a train for a 2 hour trip back to Torquay. By the time Id got there and waited for Allan to come and collect the key (he managed to turn up about half an hour late cos he’d lost his car keys!!), Id missed one train, so caught a slightly later one, which meant that for part of the return journey, I had to endure a load of school kids (which, by the way, was on the smallest train carriage in the world!!).
After all that, I finally managed to make it back to my house at 7.00 in the evening- exhausted! (as I imagine you probably are from reading all that!)

THE END(!)