The World Through Majik's Eyes

2008-03-28T22:21:00.002Z

From a Suffolk pub to Borough Briggs . . .
Elgin city gains two new fans after they watched a thrilling comeback on TV

WHEN Elgin City FC kick off at home to Arbroath tomorrow, a teacher from Lincoln and a police investigator from Ipswich will be intently tuning in as the game unfolds.

The unlikely pair became the club’s newest fans following a chance comment made more than 400 miles away in a Suffolk pub last September, as the black and whites faced a 2-0 defeat.

Teacher Daniel Callaghan, 26, said he and his friend, Andrew Morrison, 28, had never heard of Elgin but their curiosity was aroused when a TV report announced the team had reduced the deficit to 2-1 in the 85th minute.

“Andrew and I let out a small cheer and I flippantly commented that if they could somehow find an equaliser that we would follow Elgin as our own,” he said.

Three minutes later, the equaliser duly arrived, prompting Mr Callaghan to swear that the pair would support the team “for the rest of our days” if Elgin went on to win the match.

Three minutes into injury time, Paul Kaczan scored the winning goal for Elgin City – turning around a 2-0 scoreline in eight minutes.

Mr Callaghan, of Cherry Willingham, Lincoln, said: “Needless to say, Andrew and I almost hit the roof and the Ipswich locals were left wondering why on earth a last-gasp Elgin goal was worthy of such rapture.

“Upon our return to Andrew’s house, we immediately got out a map to locate our new team and were not at all put off by how far away Elgin is.”

Since then, the duo have followed City’s progress and have booked tickets for the 10-hour train journey to cover the 438 miles from Ipswich to watch their new team at home on April 12.

“We have bought merchandise from the online club shop and very soon we shall, true to our word, visit Borough Briggs for a game,” said Mr Callaghan.

Mr Morrison is from Crieff, but moved to the south of England in his early years. His fellow Elgin City fan has never visited Scotland.

The club’s acting chairman, Graham Tatters, said the new fans would be well looked after when they arrive at Elgin on April 12.

Meanwhile, the club is hoping for a large turnout at Borough Briggs tomorrow against Arbroath.

It has been hailed as the biggest game for the club since it joined the Scottish League. A win could take the team to within a couple of points off play-off places.

Courtesy of The Press & Journal

http://www.pressandjournal.co.uk/Article.aspx/559454?UserKey=0

2008-03-28T21:40:00.002Z

2008-01-27T12:36:00.000Z

SLIGHTLY OUT OF SEASON...
But amusing nonetheless

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

2007-11-24T12:35:00.001Z

CAN-CAN

2007-11-24T12:08:00.000Z

THE CHARLESTON

2007-11-24T11:50:00.001Z

PHILIP ON THE RAMPAGE

2007-11-23T19:55:00.001Z

ALLAN & BECKY...

2007-10-11T11:00:00.000Z

GEMMA ATKINSON
Virgin Megastore Official Opening
Princesshay, Exeter

Me with Hollyoaks lovely Gemma Atkinson!

Signing autographs

Chatting to the crowd before cutting the ribbon

More chat!

The cutting of the ribbon, which I seemingly managed to miss in all the excitement!

Some idiot got in the way of the pic!! But I edited him out! lol.

The video of the official opening...

2007-09-19T14:04:00.001Z

THE VAGINATOR II

Thank you to Stephen Gordon for following up his infamous voicemail...

2007-07-17T22:40:00.000Z

ME, BIN LADEN & JACK BAUER

So there I am... its a huge rocky lake, its dark, and there are literally thousands of people surrounding this lake, like in some sort of apocalyptic war scene.

Im stood right infront of a man holding some sort of crossbow-type gun thing. He's threatening a nuclear strike on the entire planet, unless he kills me.
This man is Osama Bin Laden.

All the while I stand facing the weapon-wielding bearded madman, Im waiting for Jack Bauer and his team to do their fancy work from the side of the lake. Most bizarre of all, is that Im not the only one waiting... so is Bin Laden!

All of a sudden, as if to suggest we've been waiting too long, the setting changes to my parents house in Colyton, where Bin Laden seems to be less prominent, but Jack Bauer is still loitering around, and the threat to my life is still very real, but Ive now decided to lay in my bed, in my parents living room.

Then, whilst still in bed, all of a sudden Ive ended up in Colyton Playing Fields with a few people.

Then I woke up.

Officially the most random dream I've ever had! lol.

Monday 16th/Tuesday 17th July 2007

2007-07-02T22:02:00.000Z

UNBELIEVABLE...

2007-06-29T21:15:00.000Z

THE VAGINATOR

Stephen left me a Voicemail at 11pm on Friday 22nd June 2007...this is the full unedited message, with some photos added for effect!

2007-04-06T00:32:00.000Z

APRIL FOOLS DAY
Sunday 1st April 2007

I can now bring you the full story behind the April Fools Day prank played by myself and Stephen, on poor Philip!

The story commences at 3.35am, on the back of a night out, when Stephen arrives at the house with a gift...

His gift was this...

After a few games of Pro Ev...
(including this amusing mid-game conversation,
(NB this is an audio file, which is YET to be uploaded!)

...we got to work!
First thing to do was...

remove Phil's mattress!

Just before we stored it in Allan's bedroom, Steve stopped to pose for the camera...

... take 2...

Then he found time for a quick lay down...

We then wrapped up the contents of his bed in his bed sheet...

and his laundry (including the basket) in another...

Then time for a quick pose again...

Then we removed more belongings, including his stereo, his VCR and his tv, and put his CDs in alphabetical order(!), before we assessed our work so far

His items were carefully placed in the study to hide...

We also then decided to move the entire contents of his wardrobe into Al's wardrobe...

We then manouvered our roadblock carefully into his room, and strategically behind the door, to almost stop it opening...

And with that it was job done...

with just one final last touch to confuse the poor lad when he came home...

And with that, all that was left was for us to waste more time, so we didnt get to bed til 7am...

Then we tried to get a photo of us with the clock, to no avail...

And, as if the night wasnt enough of a farce, Steve then decided to pretend the mouse was a phone...

before donning our bizarre WKD spider hat...

All that was left to do then was wait for Phil to come home and find our surprise...

He then just about successfully moved the blockage...

Before looking through Al's wardrobe to borrow a shirt from him, blissfully unaware that his clothes were now right infront of him!

Ladies and gentleman, a big thank you to:
Stephen Gordon for making this prank possible;
Rebecca Ruddy, for lending us her camera;
Allan Kirkwood, for sleeping through the volunteering of his room for storage purposes;
and Simon "Phil Neville" Beacham, for being out, and for allowing us the opportunity to provide entertainment to many!

2007-04-01T19:41:00.000Z

APRIL FOOLS

Ladies and gents, once I'm in possession of the photographs, I will show you one of my favourite April Fools Day gags created by myself and Stephen Gordon this morning, on poor, unsuspecting Philip.

As a wee taster...

Phil can't open his door

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Oh its good- its very good!

2007-02-25T19:04:00.000Z

BECKY'S BIRTHDAY

Probably about time I tell a slightly more detailed version of events quickly! lol.

Went to the Union on the Friday night, and got absolutely ruined! I got lost (again) and was eventually found by Steve at the end of the night. Then we managed to locate a lift (of the elevator variety) which no-one else seems to know even existed!

This proved to be VERY entertaining to two drunkards, particularly when, on one floor, the door opens infront of a brick wall. Nothing else! lol.

Then managed to get the bus home, to find Phil on the sofa with one of Becky's friends..!

Oh, and Steve ripped a "TO LET" sign (which he nicknamed Samuel Eto'o for some reason!) off the wall next to Becky's house, and brought it in with us- much to Becky's disgust! lol.

Then on Saturday me, Steve & Martyn spent the whole day in the pub drinking, while the others went to the cinema. Met up with Martyn's Irish friends for the arvo to watch the England-Ireland rugby game which was cool.

Oh, and in the pub, when I went to pay for something by card, instead of giving me a pen to sign with, they got me to use the corner of the debit card itself, to engrave my signature in it!! lol.

The 3 of us then went to a house party in the evening, and met up with the Irish again, while the others went elsewhere.

I got toss-faced again, while the other 2 both pulled, which included Martyn using the lines (and apologies if this is incorrect)

"you have marvellous breasts" and "you look like you'd be good in bed"! lol.

Oh, and both nights, Steve slept in a little chair! lol.

Thank you and goodnight!

Group pic from the Friday night

Fern, Pippa, Martyn, Me, Steve, Allan, Phil

Steve with Samuel Eto'o

2007-02-10T10:44:00.000Z

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN...
me & Allan papered over Phil's bedroom door...

The positioning of the ironing board took all of Allan's skill...

And then Phil awoke to find our achievements, and did the only thing anyone can do...

2007-02-01T22:05:00.000Z

RAFA BENITEZ

Ladies and gents, prepare your stomachs for immense laughter!!!!

Legend!

2007-01-28T14:42:00.000Z

WHAT ANDREW DID...
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
Andrew Kerrison

Thank you to Martyn for the pain and suffering endured by himself in order to take these pictures!

2007-01-22T21:04:00.000Z

SATURDAY 20th JANUARY 2007

The following are pictures, and a video, from Saturday...

Allan wearing a Liverpool shirt to support the team that wasnt Chelsea.

And video of Philip in a box...

2007-01-06T21:09:00.000Z

TESCO XMAS PARTY
Saturday 9th December 2006

Liz next to the PILLAR she tried to use to pole dance!

Jen, Di & Liz

Matt & Anni, with Mark in the background, plus Charlotte & Steve to the right!

Anni & me (I was dressed as Santa in case you were wondering! lol)
----------------------
Now onto the Grove...

Kerry & some man! lol

me BATTERED... (Ive already lost the hat at this stage!)

Kerry again

The lovely Carly & Clare!

Me looking almost confused! (note my name badge though!)

Katrina

2007-01-06T21:08:00.000Z

Ash hiding somewhere under my finger

My forehead!!

Greg!

A beautiful shot up Clare's nose for some reason!

One of Adam's friends, name escapes me... oops!

Clare & Greg, probably giggling at the pissed twat behind the camera!

2007-01-06T16:49:00.000Z

NEW YEARS EVE 2006/2007

Well I think it’s safe to say, that this New Years Eve was the best we’ve had, certainly in my opinion!

Hilarity, farce, drunkenness and the most pointless taxi journey ever. Perfect concoction if you ask me.

The first drinks were consumed at about 2.30, during an early game of Pro Evo! Then we headed to Prezzo for our New Year Italian meal at 4pm. Myself, Allan, Becky, Steve, Phil, Martyn, Kerrison, Colin, and his mrs, Sarah all attended! Somehow we managed to be in there for 3 hours, but it did provide one of the highlights of the whole evening.

Having decided we’d finished, Phil attempted to ask for the bill. He spotted a gentleman wearing a black shirt walking past us towards the next table, and grabbed his attention with a “hi”.
Imagine his surprise when the bemused man replied with a simple “hiya”. Bizarre response from an apparent waiter. So Phil checks “do you work here?”
“No” replies the man, as he returns to his table to enjoy his food, to the 9 of us rolling on the floor wetting ourselves as poor Phil, whilst fully appreciating the amusement, turns a lovely shade of pink!!

After that we returned to our humble abode for some more beverages/Pro Evo! Allan introduced some to the game of “lets get everyone hideously battered just because”. Or some sort of coin tossing game, I’m not quite sure.
The sum of it all meant that by the time we headed down to Henry’s, Philip was absolutely toss-faced! So much so that he forgot what he’d been told 2 seconds beforehand- ridiculous!

We met up with Pippa & Lucie etc etc there, and gathered round the pool table, where Allan fell victim to what can only be described as a “vicious” attack! Lol.
Allan was merely trying to protect the modesty of celebrity-sister, Lucie, when she launched a malicious and violent attack, by assaulting me around the head, and smashing a pint glass into Allan’s face!
…
Of course, that’s a slightly misleading version of events…
Allan pointed at Lucie’s chest and shouted “TITTIES!”, to which he received a slap round the head! I then got slapped round the head for laughing, before Allan got hit again, this time accidentally forcing his head into Steve’s pint glass, inadvertently cutting his eyebrow! Lol.
All an accident, but highly amusing nonetheless.
Having forgotten what happened, we re-informed Philip why Al’s eye was cut, and by the end of the sentence, he’d forgotten again!!!! Lol.

Then onto Bowling Green for some shooters, and Philip chatting up some bloke’s girlfriend (which was to become somewhat of a theme for the night!). Apparently we were supposed to have paid to get in, but we somehow managed to walk straight in without, whilst Allan simply walked in the backdoor!

After that, we all sauntered down to Hole In The Wall, to meet up with Martyn & Kerrison. Here we saw Michelle Woodgates and Rachel Hennessey, who I’ve not seen for about 3 or 4 years or so! Which provided further entertainment when Philip, having never said a word to Rachel the entire time they were at school, spent a large period of time trying to chat her up, much to her dismay! Lol.

We decided to stay here for midnight, and duely saw in the New Year pissed as farts, hugging each other! The only way!
Later on, also saw Philip gladly wander up to some couple, barge the bloke out the way, and start dancing with his girlfriend! All while the bloke just stood at the side of the dancefloor watching!!

At this stage memories begin to fade…

Allan, Becky & Phil all wandered home sometime before 1am, whilst me, Martyn, Steve & Kerrison left together at closing time.

I, however, ended up getting home by myself. No-one knows what time, no-one knows why.

Meanwhile, Martyn, Steve & Kerrison went to Amber Rooms for further drinks, until Martyn “popped out” for a burger, and never returned. He found his way back to our house but, finding us all either asleep or too lazy to get out of bed to answer the door, ended up having to sleep in his car!

Steve & Kerrison continued drinking until about 3.30 or so, and decided to walk home. However, they got as far as the Odeon (5mins away from our house for those of you who don’t know), and decided to stop and WAIT for a taxi!! They then had to give directions to the taxi driver, before handing over FIVE POUNDS!!!

Having managed to get Allan out of bed to let them in, Steve managed to break a glass in the kitchen, before using a dustpan and BROOM to try and clear it up. However all he succeeded in doing was spreading the glass all over the kitchen floor!!
He followed that by having to be stopped by Kerrison, from cooking £10 worth of steak!! Kerrison regained full points for his recent drunk food-making antics in our house! Lol.

The most farcical of nights out ever… but exactly what is required for a New Years Eve.

Top night!!!

The photos are as farcical as the night its safe to say...

2007-01-06T16:48:00.000Z

Everyone eating at Prezzo, before the carnage began.

Me and Steve some time around midnight

Happy New Year Martyn!

Rachel, Michelle's friend Will, and Michelle

Steve...

Allan has yet to realise the drink is no longer in his hand

Now, who or what exactly is meant to be being photographed?

Me & Philip looking suitably battered!

Words actually fail me for this one!

Steve & Phil, with others, enjoying a sing-song...apparently

2007-01-05T18:45:00.000Z

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
Here's a few things to jog your memories, and remind you of happy days!!

Enjoy...

NB: If you have any troubles with the sound on any of the videos, refreshing the screen should clear the issue!

(Also, I can't add this one on here, but it's worth a look you'll remember...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-UyxSSmjqw)

2007-01-01T20:55:00.000Z

ALLAN'S BIRTHDAY PHOTOS

Its been a while to get these sorted, but these are the pics from Allan's birthday in October! Stephen is mysteriously absent in every single one of them though...

Phil, Sam, Robin, Dan, Becky & Allan outside KFC on the way down to Arena

More of the same!

Philip gazes admiringly at the ladies in the club

Phil, Dan & Sam strike a pose

Becky looking splendid (plus Theo's in the background!)

Either this is shit photography, or Im really small or Dan's really tall. Or a combination of the 3...

We met Barney Holder, of all people, in Arena!!

Me & Becky

Sam doesnt remember this photo...

...or this one!! But the question is- what EXACTLY is Allan doing?!

2007-01-01T20:54:00.000Z

Allan and Becky stop each other falling over

Becky rubs the chest of her boyfriend's mate!! And I look concerningly delighted behind Sam...!

Sam

Allan & Becky upright this time!

Simply terrifying

Allan's tongue!

Allan, Dan, Becky, me, Martyn & Kerrison on the dancefloor

Kerrison strikes a pose!!

Quick show of hands...!

2006-12-24T02:10:00.000Z

CHARLIE FOX IS HERE!!
My nephew has arrived!!
Charlie Verdun Roy Trott was born Christmas Eve at 2.10am!

2006-12-14T22:34:00.000Z

THE OFFICIAL CAMBRIDGE FACEBOOK SONG
On The Facebook

For those of you not on Facebook, you may not fully appreciate...

but either way, this is absolute class!!

2006-12-04T22:09:00.000Z

THE RIDDLE

In London, Spurs and Arsenal could do it, as could Chelsea and West Ham. Both Man City and Utd could also do it. Everton and Rangers could do it, but not Liverpool and Celtic. The only British clubs that could do it this season are Man Utd (who would prefer not to) and Arsenal (who are desperate to do it.)
There is only one other British club that could do it. Who are they and what is it?

Answer at the bottom of this post...

...The answer is, they could win all three European Cups! The only other club that could do it are Aberdeen.

Thanks to some lovely people on Facebook for providing me with that!

2006-12-03T19:41:00.000Z

Coca Cola Advert

Since Coca-Cola have committed the biggest national disgrace of all time by changing THE xmas ad, here's one of the old ones to cheer you up!!

2006-12-03T16:39:00.000Z

The Red Car And The Blue Car

Without a doubt people... THE greatest advert ever made!!!!

ENJOY!!

2006-10-24T23:54:00.000Z

STOP TREATING ME LIKE A KID

First episodes been on!!! And for the next 5 Tuesdays at 10pm on E4, it'll be on again! hehe.

Keep your eyes pealed again for familiar faces (no me as yet, which is probably a good thing for my sanity!)

Offical site: www.channel4.com/stoptreatingmelikeakid

MySpace: www.myspace.com/stoptreatingmelikeakid (NOTE the top friend! haha)

Message board debate: http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=470741&page=1&pp=25

2006-10-23T13:25:00.000Z

ALLAN'S 22ND BIRTHDAY

So Allans birthday was on Sunday, and to celebrate we got hammered on Saturday night!! But, what was so different about that?

Well, we successfully managed to organise a surprise mini-house party for the birthday, and bless him- he didnt have a clue! lol.

We arranged for 3 of his uni housemates (Sam, Dan and Robin) to come down as a surprise, and had them sat in The Imperial for 4 hours while we waited for Becky to take the birthday boy out for a meal.

Once they were out, we had just 2 hours to get the Cardiff boys in, get Colin, his old DEFRA workmate in (who Allan believed was in Birmingham!), get the house sorted, and get the extra 3 crates of beer and 2 bottles of vodka in, that we'd hidden under my bed and in Phil's car!! lol.

A sly text from Becky to say they were on their way back, led to the final preparations...

Sam, Dan, Robin and Colin were sat in my room, on my bed, infront of my webcam. The picture was sent to the computer in the living room, and viewed full-screen, so when Allan came back we could show him the live stream! Well, we hadnt quite encountered on how good his reaction would be!!

Slightly thrown by Phil saying "look what we've downloaded", he didnt quite click. He recognised Dan, and Colin, but as those two had never met, didnt think it possible for those 2 to be in the same room together! Understandable logic I suppose! But then he points at Sam and asks...
"is that me?"!!!
Brilliant! lol.
Then he proceeded to wave at the monitor!! LOL!

When asked if he actually wanted to wave at them, we brought him into my room (poor Al, he thought he'd be waving at them through the webcam!), and the look of surprise when he saw the boys were in there was perfection!

After a chance to say hellos and regain composure, everyone was shown a little video I'd prepared! A photo-montage of various pics of Allan from nights-out! With a Star Wars-esque opening, and all complete with Star Wars music, and the This Is Your Life theme!

And then we gave him a "birthday girl" cake! lol. Which was all well and good, but we'd failed to factor in that it would end up smeared ALL over our house after a food fight!! Not the brightest idea in hindsight, but entertaining though!
It only kicked off after Allan sneaked up behind Steve and successfully planted basically an ENTIRE cake on the back of his head!!! lol

Then, shortly before we went out, the Cardiff boys removed all of Allans drawers and placed them on top of his bed, complete with the main chest of drawers!! lol.

During all of this I was successfully losing my voice, and by the time we made it out to Arena I was basically speechless to all intents and purposes! lol. I had to type on my phone, everything I wanted to say! VERY frustrating I can tell you!

Succesful evening without a shadow of a doubt! And I think its safe to say that Allan, Becky, Phil, Steve, Martyn, Kerrison, Theo, Colin, Sam, Dan, Robin, and myself, all had a brilliant evening!

As I finish editing the videos of the night, I'll post them online. First up will be the photo montage (for which you need the sound!), which will be up shortly!
As a taster though, this is a video taken on my phone shortly before we went out, after Allans chest of drawers had been put on his bed, and after Sam had taken to wearing Beckys underwear...

and this is the video montage, make sure the sound is turned up for this one!

2006-10-18T23:59:00.000Z

THE FULL ADVERT FOR...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUWdyQrxEIs

2006-10-17T19:34:00.000Z

FULL DETAILS...
STOP TREATING ME LIKE A KID

Ladies and gents, a full IMPORTANT update now...

On Tuesday 24th October 2006, on E4, the very first episode of Stop Treating Me Like A Kid will be broadcast at 10pm!!

This, of course, is the reality tv show filmed in COLYTON over the summer!!

It also could potentially star none other than my own father- Iain Morrison!! lol

He was interviewed as part of it, so keep your eyes pealed to see if he makes the cut. And look out for guest cameos from other locals, such as myself, Steve and Martyn etc!

For more information on the programme, visit the micro site...

www.channel4.com/stoptreatingmelikeakid

Tuesdays, E4, 10pm: Stop Treating Me Like A Kid

2006-09-17T19:00:00.000Z

OUR HOUSE!!

I'll update further as to the events of the past 4 weeks or so, in our brand new abode, but for now, this is a minor example of the merriment we've been enjoying!!

Cue Status Quo..!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLvFC11FZmo

2006-08-10T21:07:00.000Z

MORE TV FAME!!

Well more tv-related incidences. Last night, as myself and Martyn were walking up to the pub, some of the tv kids were walking towards us, then passed us, whilst being followed by a camera, so a full-on cameo for the pair of us last night!!

And I missed the chance of a cameo at work today, due to the bastard checkouts!!

It seems there are TWO TV shows being filmed in East Devon at the moment. In addition to the reality show being filmed in Colyton, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall (he presents River Cottage on Ch4) is also filming around the area too.

He's been filming in Tesco a few times this week, apparently he's doing a show about CHICKENS!!!!!

I'll keep you all posted as to dates of broadcast! lol.

2006-08-04T19:45:00.000Z

FUN WITH BROOMS
Bit of comedy for you all...

2006-07-31T20:18:00.000Z

STOP TREATING ME LIKE A KID

Just a further update on the tv show being filmed in Colyton (see post below).

The show has a working title of "Stop Treating Me Like A Kid" (although some reports suggest a poorer title of "Summer School", is being made by the people behind Wife Swap and Rock School apparently! It's due to be broadcast on e4 in October this year!!

They're filming in Colyton for 6 weeks, and are due to leave on Saturday 2nd September!

We had a brief chat to one of the kids last night, which was entertaining!

Other news on the show includes that...

-The kids aren't allowed a tv or phone or anything like that
-They do have a pool room though
-They're not allowed to go any further than 20minutes from the house
-They each have a chaperone to follow them round with a camera
-The owners of the house are rumoured to have been paid £30,000 for the use of the premises, and have gone on holiday for the summer, in a 5-star American hotel, aswell as paying for their furniture to be put in storage.

Keep your eyes pealed for many cameos from familiar faces, most of which look set to come from Stephen thus far!!

October 2006: Stop Treating Me Like A kid, e4

2006-07-25T19:48:00.000Z

WATCH THIS SPACE

Well the most random thing to hit East Devon since Andrea, the amazing disappearing woman, has occured this week.

On Sunday (23rd), a film crew recording a reality television show for e4 in Colyton, moved in and began filming!!!!
Honest to god, me and Steve spent the last week not believing it, but it is now official!!

It's a show about 8 city kids, aged 16, who are moving into a house together, and have to "make it on their own". They have to get jobs and pay the bills etc during their stay to see just how independant they are!
Apparently the kids move in to the house tomorrow (Wednesday 26th).

It will be shown on e4 at some stage in the future, with a view to broadcasting it on Channel 4 sometime afterwards.

I successfully managed a cameo "walk through" earlier today, so look out for me when its on!! hehe.

e4 is on Freeview Ch.14, Sky Ch.140 and Cable

In the distance, you'll see the camera crew in Spar

The camera crew filming from opposite the post office. This is just before I did my cameo "walk-through"!!

2006-07-25T19:38:00.000Z

WHAT NOT TO DO ON A NIGHT OUT!!

So, think of all the things youve ever done on a night out. Everyones done at least a few slightly ridiculous things after a few drinks. Allan's walked into a car, Philip's tried unlocking a door with a tin opener, I've walked around the most dangerous area of Southampton by myself etc etc.
I think it's safe to say Stephen has now successfully set a new benchmark.

Let me fill you in on the weekend...

It kicked off with the discovery that Allan was up for the weekend and staying at mine (a fact I only found out after he'd left Torquay!!).
So once he arrived, we got dragged to Seaton, to the arcade, by Becky, to watch poor Al throw away a tenner on the machines! But straight after that we came back to the pub!!
To kick off with, we successfully won a random tenner between us on Cluedo on the quiz machine!!! :D
After a few beers and banter, we pottered to Adams (me rather reluctantly admittedly) for a game of "Futuristic Risk" at about 11.30, which would only take "a couple of hours- seriously".
We had Adam drunkenly trying to prop up his dettached living room door, me and Steve texting each other comedy insults from 2 metres across the room, and EVERYONE getting floor wax on their jeans!
To top it off, I ended up getting bored, nodding off occasionally, and eventually going home at 3.30AM!!! Some FOUR hours after starting!!!

Saturday went better though, with a trip to the beach for a barbeque!!! Me, Allan, Becky, Megan (Beckys little sister), and Pippa (and later, Ed). Good chuckle, even if we couldnt cut the sausages! hehe.
Then came the night out...
walk down went well and was excellent as ever! Including Steve announcing to the whole of Seaton, via a traffic cone, that Allan loved the bottom (or something very similar!!).
The pub was all good, having a chinwag with everyone, drinking trebles(!) etc etc.
Then to the Grove...

All was going well until Becky had a few too many drinks, and ended up being found outside vomiting, so Allan had to go home with her in Lucie's car, with Pippa etc.
However, earlier in the evening, Steve had successfully managed to get himself BANNED FOR LIFE from The Grove, for allegedly throwing a GLASS at a BOUNCER!!!!!!!!

And to top it all off, it seems he may have punched someone too, and could well have broken a couple of bones in his hand (which is currently twice its normal size as a result!!)

NIGHTMARE!!!

2006-06-06T17:20:00.000Z

WES BROWN Vs JOHN TERRY!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a quote from the 606 Messageboard on the BBC Sport website, this is obviously the most insane, dumbest person ever to walk this earth.
It was posted on the 5th June, by someone using the alias of "Flingitnow"...

"John Terry has been outstanding for Chelsea the last 3 years and has captained them to consecutive premiership titles. However for England is the story the same?

John has been an England regular for the last 2 years now and lets examine his performances. How many Man of the Matches has since supposedly fitire captain had? 0! How many commanding performances has he had? 0!

He has in fact made a mistake that has lead to a goal also every other game! Yet again nearly costing us with an "uncharacteristic" mistake against Jamaica on Saturday. I often laugh when I read the papers the next morning they normally give him a 6 or 7 and say either not at his usual best or that he had a good performance except for the uncharacteristic mistake that lead to the goal. I'm sorry but if you are caught out for a goal as a CB that isn't a good performance!

Mean while the most complete CB on the planet is sat at home twiddling his thumbs. Wes Brown is twice the player Rio Ferdinand is and simply should be starting. He's quicker than Rio just as good on the ball but he actually cares about defending and enjoys the ugly thing you have to do as a centre back (much like Terry). Plus he simply the best tackler there has ever been. People talk about the Moore tackle in 1970 but that is nothing compared to Brown give Henry a couple of yards head start then promptly catching him up and knicking the ball off him from behind with out even going to ground, he did this to Thierry Henry!!!

Sven sort it out!!!"

2006-06-05T15:30:00.000Z

Roy White

30.11.1922-5.6.2006
RIP

2006-06-02T20:00:00.000Z

BIRTHDAY VIDEOS & PHOTOS
Just to let you all know that Im in the process of putting the videos from my birthday celebrations onto a different website, so they should be easily accessible for everyone. You should also be able to view them almost instantly!
The ones updated so far are...

Phil in bed!!
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QPNI5I6B

Me doing my dirty half on the Sunday night
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6B0QPcB8NM

General banter on the Sunday night
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaGskDYw_oM

Me doing my dirty yard at my party:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIxGcjKN_WA

Ive also added the last of the photos from my birthday now!! Have a scroll down to see them in all their glory!!

2006-05-30T19:15:00.000Z

LUIS GARCIA
This is a photo Steve got of Luis Garcia on FA Cup Final day, walking through Cardiff!!

2006-05-27T22:27:00.000Z

NAKED TORQUAY
(29/4/06)
Well its about time I updated you all as to the events of Torquay a few weekends back!!
I arrived on the Saturday to find all the Cardiff boys lounging around looking like death, having been out the previous night (although Allan wont be able to confirm if that actually happened!). The main talking point from that night would be Dan, Sam & Robin being forced into enjoying a 3-in-a-bed. Poor Dan got kicked out of his room when James kindly found a woman to use his bed instead!
So, after watching Wayne Rooney break his foot in the afternoon, there was only one thing for it… get bladdered (as if we would’ve stayed in if his foot was intact!!)
We sauntered down into Torquay for the night out. After enjoying a lovely greasy meal, and a few bevvies in Hen Party Central- Wetherspoons, we trotted over to Mambo. Whilst there we were offered a delicious(!), free, Cinnamon Vodka shot! I, for one, couldn’t wait to try(!). Then we moved onto some drinking games, namely ‘Jim Davidson’, and the Name Game, where I promptly managed to forget the names of every single person in the known world, and subsequently went through too many drinks for my liking.
Sadly this incident led to me spending a substantial period of time babbling on, and all that effectively came out of this “discussion” was that “England should take 5 strikers to the World Cup”!! Nightmare!
During all this, one unnamed individual pipes up with “I really need to some nipples tonight”!!
Obviously the other 5 of us protested as best we could, but we ended up being dragged around the streets of Torquay trying to locate some sort of premises!
We found the appropriately titled “3 In Bed”, which sadly that night, only had the barmaids in their underwear.
And then we hit upon heaven itself... Wisperz!! You have never seen so much nudity in all your life! Unfortunately for those of you not lucky to be there with us- seeing is believing! I don’t think any description of that place will do it justice, but I think its safe to say we all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!!
As if all that wasn’t enough, we even managed to find time to squeeze in a good-old trip to Venue. While we’re all boogieing the night away, this woman strolls up to James, to a huge cheer from all the lads. At which point I realise she was the very one James took back to the hotel the night before! The very one he’d sworn blind earlier in the day he wouldn’t pull again.
So how did the night end? Dan slept with Sam & Robin again, and James took her back to the hotel again!!

Dan, James, Robin, Sam & Al in Mambo

Flier for 3 In Bed

Sam, Dan & Robin have a lay-down!

James, Robin, Sam & Me (with Allan behind Sam's head) in Venue!

James and his bird!!

Allan (need I say any more?!!)

Dan & Sam

Don't I look HIGHLY impressed!!

Naked man we found by the harbour at the end of the night!!!

Two people tried to steal a little rowing boat, before the police
coaxed them back to shore, and guided them back!!

Sam was supposed to be eating the soap (although god knows why), so quite why Dan's doing it, is anyones guess!!

2006-04-18T17:19:00.000Z

THE PARTY!!
Ladies and gents, on Saturday night was my School Disco-themed 21st birthday party!! Cracking night all in all, with music of the highest order (cheese ALL the way!!)! We had the presentation of mine and Al's bday pressie to Phil (a signed photo of Phil Neville(!) and a signed Man Utd shirt), the poor lad nearly cried!
Then shortly after that came my "dirty yard", and to be honest, I dont really wanna think about what was in it, but it took nearly 2minutes to do it! lol. Better effort than the double-pint of Courage I had to do at my 18th!!
The video of my dirty yard is at...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIxGcjKN_WA (most notable for Stephen's commentary in the background, and Kerrison trying to dyslexicly chant my name!!).
Then just a select few were around to hear the night finish with Over My Shoulder, and Sweet Home Alabama!! CLASSICS!!!!

Me & fellow April10thian, William!!

Allan commits a public decency offence!! hehe

Stephen trying Paddy's glasses for size

Phil & Sarah

Phil's pressie from me & Allan- a signed Man Utd shirt!!
This is me with my "death yard"!! trust me!

Sarah, Charlotte & Jessamy

Charlie with a confused-looking Martyn (its a pint!!)

Theo and Hayman!!

Martyn's gonna punch someone... but who?!

Kerrison's mrs tries to get as far away as posible for him... but didnt take account of the wall getting in the way

George & Verd (I think Ive been spotted!)

Alison (who also shares my birthday!) & Deb

The girls enjoy a group hug! lol

Allan tries to eat Becky!

Is Steve puckering up for a kiss? And is Al about to hug him or hit him?

Ahh- hitting seems to have been more likely!!

Ah the happy couple seem to have patched up their differences!

William and Paddy share a fag moment(!!) lol.

Sarah strikes a pose on the dancefloor

Charlotte & Sarah!

Theo performs air guitar on the dancefloor (I think Martyn's face says it all really!!)

Martyn and Charlie stop for a pose!

3 degrees of drunken enjoyment on the faces of Al, Steve & Phil!!

2006-04-18T17:18:00.000Z

...continued

Hard to believe this was just seconds later, and Steve looks ready to pass out!

Sarah & Charlotte (yes, Sarah had been drinking at this stage!)

This is Allan playing Steve at pool at 10.45 pm!!! lol. Asking for trouble!!

Steve & Will

The perfect photo to finish the set I think...
Allan, Phil, Sarah & Jessamy (behind Sarah's head) all looking suitably battered!!

2006-04-11T13:05:00.000Z

MY 21ST BIRTHDAY
Ladies and gents, Im finally 21!!! YAY!!!!!!

We spent the weekend in Torquay getting drunk!! Myself, Allan, Becky, Phil, Steve, Charlotte, Sarah, Pippa, Kerrison, Martyn & Pip went to Route 66 for All You Can Drink, which included a rousing throat-hurting singlong to Vindaloo and Three Lions!!! Come the end of the night, when we got back to the hotel, we all decided to steal a sleeping Phil’s duvet, then all watched him asleep as he tried to find the duvet!! Lol. He then settled for a pair of Kerrison’s trousers, one leg shielding his eyes from the spotlight he’d put on, the other leg wrapped round him to keep him warm!!! A video of which can be found at...
http://depositfiles.com/files/31088/MVI_0650.AVI.html (please pay particular attention to the comments between Steve and Kerrison about beds!!).
Steve and Becky then thought it a good idea to “play” snooker at 2am!! Steve then followed that up by having a lay down in a corridor, then on Charlotte and Sarah’s floor, where he produced the phrase of the weekend...
In a discussion with Charlotte, she reminded him that a fanny can mean an arse, and his response was…
“Yeah but in England it means a CUNT!!!” !!!!!!!

Sunday night was spent in the hotel bar- me, Steve, Phil, Allan And Charlotte, playing a bit of Roulette, Poker, and the classic Really Nasty Horse Racing Game!! All enjoyed with a bit of communal DJing!! Once we found the microphone, us four pissed blokes were in our element!! Sunday also saw probably the worst attempt at drinking a dirty half pint from my good self!! Hehe. The video for which can be viewed at
http://media.putfile.com/Me-with-my-dirty-half-pint
or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6B0QPcB8NM

Another video of that evening, of general banter, can be obtained at...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaGskDYw_oM

Now we have one more night out before the climax to the celebrations on Saturday night…the party!!!! Its gonna be a good’un!

*Thank you to Stephen for giving me some of his pics to use here, on top of mine*

SATURDAY NIGHT
Mambo + Route 66

Pippa, Becky, Allan, Sarah & Charlotte in the hotel bar!

Sarah & Charlotte

Allan & Phil strike very different poses!

Me avec cheesy grin!

Allan & Steve

Pip & Pippa

Me & Charlotte in Route 66

Me striking a pose

Pippa & Becky

Kerrison & Phil, with Pip loitering behind Kerrison's shoulder!

Pip, Kerrison, Phil & Martyn

Sarah & Charlotte

2006-04-11T13:04:00.000Z

Pippa & Steve

Stephen with his glass (best not to ask!!)

Steve, Martyn, Pip & Pippa

Me, Becky, Al & Kerrison

Should we be concerned about Pip?

The group (complete with stray arm!!) on the balcony
of Mambo
(Al, Steve, Martyn, Pip, Becky, Pippa)

The rest of the group (good to see Phil was the ONLY
person not paying attention!!)
(Kerrison, Sarah, Charlotte & Phil)

Our HUGE stack of glasses in Route66!!

Charlotte & Sarah

For those of you not in the know, there is a mirror
in the direction Becky's looking in! lol.

2006-04-11T13:03:00.000Z

Phil, Al and "Becky"... apparently!

Um... you'll have to ask Allan about this one!!

Phil, Steve & Kerrison

Pippa & Steve (yes Pippa was lucky enough to (involuntarily!)
share a bed with him later!)

Look very closely... surely the reason for Allan's murderous
face cant be the thing growing out of his neck can it?

Martyn, Pip, Kerrison, Pippa & Al cram into the pic

Some tired faces towards the end of the night!

Kerrison, Martyn & Pip get their camera poses ready!

Becky having a boogie

And finally... I wonder who's made FULL use of the All You Can Drink Bar?
Pippa & Becky were obviously very lucky to share a bed with these boys! lol.

2006-04-11T13:02:00.000Z

SUNDAY NIGHT
Hotel Bar

Me enjoying a wave!

Steve and me behind Al's bar!

Al inspects the rules for The Really Nasty Horse Racing Game

Allan wonders where he is, whilst I top up my drink at the bar!

2006-03-14T16:25:00.000Z

THE GROVE
Due to recent speculation on the future of The Grove, I obtained this statement from them:

"No The Grove is not Closing Down At All

We Have Lots of things going on.

17th March Rave Party with Club Diversity
22nd March Karaoke nites Start with Prizes (every Wednesday from 8pm)
7th April Live Music with Rock Band Unforgiven Kingdom"

2006-02-28T21:30:00.000Z

MAJIKAL MYSTERY TOURS
Those of you around at the time may recall the time I ended up aimlessly wandering around Exeter at 1.00 in the morning one Saturday night (as a hint, its the same night Allan fell asleep on the bathroom floor of Pip's house!).

Well Saturday night saw the 2nd instalment of...

"Majik's Mystery Tours"!!

This one is entitled...

"Southampton: The Unknown City"

Yes on my first visit to Southampton, (yes Becky, Ive never been to Southampton before!!), I successfully left everybody (which bizarrely included Lee's ex!) in the club, I gave myself a tour of the city!
I also used the brilliant sense of "drunken irrationality", to decide that there could only possibly be one Nelson Mandela House-esque tower block in the whole place- the one Becky lives in!
It didnt occur to me at all that there could be more than one, so every time I saw one, I thought I knew where I was!!!!
Managed to walk a full circle seemingly though, and made it back to the club in time to go home!! lol.

Coupled with turning round on Sunday morning to see Becky, with only Allans pants on, with him giving her a massage!! lol.

Good weekend!!!

2006-02-09T21:36:00.000Z

WANADOO

I am FINALLY pleased to announce that, after 101 DAYS, my problems with Wanadoo are officially over!! YAY!!!!

They're paying me for my phone calls, and to my dismay...

I actually spoke to someone with a brain!!!!

Stand up...Leon Smith!! Congratulations!!

2006-01-13T20:24:00.000Z

Watch Your Bags in Tesco!

The moral of the following story is, as you are told at all train stations etc... Dont leave your bags unattended, only it applies to Tesco now too!!

I hear this "excuse me" today, and this woman tells me she's lost her handbag (to all intents and purposes) from on top of her trolley. So we launched Operation K**** C**** (otherwise known as informing the management theres a security issue!! lol). All the managers come literally charging down to the front of the store, where a search begins to try and locate this bag. Meanwhile, a police officer appears within about 2 MINUTES!! (I kid you not!).

So the management and the police spend a good 2 hours trying to sort this out, viewing CCTV footage and the like, whilst the woman phoned up and canceled her credit cards and phone etc, as you do.

Thankfully, however, the whole matter was able to be resolved after that time, when it was discovered that...

...SHE HAD THE WRONG trolley!!!!!!!!!!
This is despite assuring us on at least THREE occasions that the trolley she had was definitely hers! All the while, her real trolley was sat no further than 10meteres away, complete with bag!!

So the real moral of this story...

PAY ATTENTION!!!! lol

2005-11-26T22:31:00.000Z

BRISTOL (4/11/05)

Charlotte has an ice cube thrown down her top!

Charlotte's housemate, Adam, checks to see
exactly where the ice cube is!

Charlotte enjoys her cocktail through the biggest
straw in the world!

Charlotte and Julian at the end of the night!
----------------------------------------------
GROVE (5/11/05)

Philip withdraws £200 for a night out at the Grove!!

Phil's housemate, Ed, demonstrates how to down
a pint in just a few seconds!

2005-11-25T22:22:00.000Z

CARDIFF 2005
Allan's 21st Birthday

Will, Philip & Becky amuse themselves in the kitchen

How many girls can you fit on one seat?

Philip shows off his new found passion for photography!

Drunken group photo shoot!

James in conversation

Philip seemingly risks his life by wrestling Allan!

Philip demonstrating why half pints of vodka arent the
brightest idea

Allans hand disappears and Philip points

William and Becky boogie the night away!

Becky and Allan (whats in that bottle is anyone's guess)

Becky and Allan take some time out on the stairs

The moment Philip was found in bed with no pants on,
fortunately, this is the only part of him the picture takes in!

to be continued...

2005-11-25T22:00:00.000Z

CARDIFF 2005
...continued

Philip never did quite get the hang of Hide And Seek

Allan, Becky and Philip in the kitchen

Allan, Robin, Dan & Philip have a sit down meal
in the bar at midnight!

What better way to top off a midnight meal,
than with jugs of Vodka-Redbull, through a straw!!

2005-10-10T22:03:00.000Z

THE LAST WEEKEND OF THE SUMMER IN TORQUAY
This is the story of our last weekend in Torquay. A story involving Allan (logically), Becky, Philip, Ed and my good self!

(NB: This story is rather outdated due to the fact my computer broke!! Also, some of the info is second hand, so apologies if anything’s wrong!!)

We stayed in the hotel bar on the Saturday night, playing a few board games- nothing majorly exciting.

Sunday however, was rather different…

Sunday morning kicked off with Philip locking himself out of his hotel room(!). Which was somehow the first time anyone had done that all summer (mainly cos I’m usually in charge of the key!).

Later on, while we were sat watching the telly in Allan’s living room, Philip got ridiculously over excited during the Liverpool-Man U game and caused Sky(!) to knock a glass of coke all over the new carpet!! (He also suggested that socks would make a good jumper that afternoon aswell!! Lol!)
Then in the evening we went down into Torquay to Route 66, where double vodka cokes are £1.66!!!!! You also get the rather attractive barmaids dancing on the bar to certain songs! And if that wasn’t enough, when Tequila by Terrorvision was played- the barmen got up on the bar and poured tequila down onto everyone!! Its all good!

That closes at 10.30 on a Sunday though, so we went off to a club. Well- that was the idea anyway…

Philip and Becky got in ok, then Allan was told to come back in half an hour to sober up, so I stayed outside with him (although he really wasn’t that pissed at all). So we stood outside, I was chatting to the bouncer, trying to get us in, when he started getting really childish and refused to speak to me when I tried to ask where the nearest toilets were! After all that, we were then told that we weren’t going to be allowed in at any stage that night- which seemed to be only cos Id been talking to them!!! Dickheads!
So by about midnight me and Allan had been stood getting cold for an hour, and Becky and Philip hadn’t seem to have noticed we weren’t there, and both had left their phones at the hotel(!), so me and Allan went back to the hotel, had a few quiet drinks, watched part of a random documentary about Catherine Zeta-Jones (don’t ask!!) and went to bed. Now this is where it starts getting completely farcical…

Ed had gone back home on Sunday morning, so Philip was due to be staying in my room. However, Allan ended up staying in my hotel room rather than his bedroom, and made the other two sleep alone. Now, because I was the only person with a key to the hotel, when Phil and Becky eventually got back to the hotel at 2.00, they had to wake up Allan’s mum to get her to let them in. However, she then inadvertently managed to lock herself, and the other two, out of the hotel, by not putting the inner porch door on the latch!! So they had to throw stones at Allan’s brother’s window, to get him to come downstairs and let them in!!
He then found Philip wandering around the bar looking for Allan and me, before being told to go to bed.

The next morning (Monday), Philip knocked on our door, looking rather confused as to why he had woken up in the room he’d stayed in the night before, with no recollection of the club, or getting back to the hotel. We later managed to find out what went on in the club…
Becky managed to floor a table of drinks, Philip got chatted up by a gay bloke, and then later, was unable to pay for his drink, and ended up being escorted off the premises!

Later on Monday morning then, just before me and Philip were leaving the hotel, we managed to smash a glass on the floor (fortunately a lino floor!). Then we said our goodbyes and made our way home…
About half an hour into the journey, I suddenly found something in my pocket…
the hotel room key!!!!!
Philip had to get back to go to work, so we couldn’t turn back, so when we got home I had to phone Allan to let him know, then he informed me that due to a coach party being booked into the hotel that day, they needed that key back by 4.00!!!!!

That gave me 4 hours to get it to them, which left me with one option- get on a train! So I went straight to the station and hopped on a train for a 2 hour trip back to Torquay. By the time Id got there and waited for Allan to come and collect the key (he managed to turn up about half an hour late cos he’d lost his car keys!!), Id missed one train, so caught a slightly later one, which meant that for part of the return journey, I had to endure a load of school kids (which, by the way, was on the smallest train carriage in the world!!).
After all that, I finally managed to make it back to my house at 7.00 in the evening- exhausted! (as I imagine you probably are from reading all that!)

THE END(!)

2005-09-12T05:14:00.000Z

So last night was Colyton Carnival 2005, which bore witness to a unique occurence, and one for which I must apologise to all the patrons of the Colcombe Castle for.
For those of you not around, you missed a treat and a half, for last night brought about my debut behind the microphone, alongside messrs Beacham, West and Kerrison, for a mutual murdering of a classic!
An out-of-tune, out-of-time, pissed-up rendition of the 1995 Mike & The Mechanics classic Over My Shoulder was what the customers of the Colcombe were subjected to last night! All done with only mine and Kerrison's mic being on apparently!!!
So, to anyone who happened to be in said public house during that pathetic attempt at singing, I APOLOGISE!